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Nik's World of Dairy Produce!

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Yes, here at Nik's World of Dairy Produce we take our foodstuffs very seriously. To you we offer the ultimate in delectability: a presentation of food mostly derived from the milk of farmyard animals! As long as there have been dairy farms there has been dairy produce. Eggs are the most self contained of the dairy foods discussed here, coming generally in only one basic model, with differing trim. Milk is the root of the other foods, being as it is the base of cheese, yoghurt and cream. Cream is not really important enough to merit a separate entry, although it does come into it's own with whisky and sugar and cofee in Bailey's Irish Cream. To begin, we will choose the basic and final form of dairy produce, the egg.


This is the ovo part of an ovo-lacto vegetarian's diet. It is distinguished from all the other foods mentioned here because it comes from birds, as opposed to mammals. Although small and self contained, eggs are surprisingly versatile; made up of yolk (the nutritive part) and albumen (the gross part) and of course a hard protective shell, there are many ways of utilising these tasty parts. As a warning, I offer my past experience, that no egg dishes cook well in the microwave.


The Classic Boiled egg
This is probably he easiest egg dish to make, and often is just what's needed to stop that gap in your stomach. It's really quite simple. Boil some water in a kettle. This is always faster than doing it on the stove. You need as much as will cover the eggs in a saucepan. Put the pan on the stove, turn up the heat, pour the boiled water into the pan, and lower the eggs in. Go away. Return in a few minutes, remove eggs and eat, having removed shell first. If you want the yolk runny, wait about 5 minutes before returning. If you want it hard, wait about 13 minutes. If you want it green, wait about 20 minutes. Soft-boiled eggs are great with salt and toast, whereas hard boiled are lovely with mayonnaise, a touch of pepper and sticks of carrot.
The Fried Egg
This is also a very simple dish, but can be executed in a variety of ways. Americans have loads of names for fried eggs (I suppose to liven their lives in the dull early colonial days) like "over easy" and whatever, but in reality their are only two ways to succesfully fry an egg.
  1. Heat frying pan with oil of some kind. I prefer to keep it in the family and use butter, from a cow.
  2. When this is very hot, break the shell of the uncooked egg and let the egg flow from the shell into the pan. It is generally accepted that it is best for the yolk to remain intact as it enters the fat. from now on there are two approaches.
  3. Serve on toast (buttered, of course) or with meat or chips or whatever you like. If the yolk breaks, you can always revert to:
Scrambled eggs
Same as fried eggs but all broken up and with milk. Swish it around in the pan a bit until it's cooked. I like it with salt and pepper and possibly Dijon mustard.
Simple. Heat up oven a lot, and make a cheese sauce. Use Knorr packet cheese sauce. Chuck in a few egg yolks - about six usually does it. Aggressively beat up the whites until they are stiff (muscle damage?) and fold the whites into the sauce, or vice-versa, and then put in souffle dish (a squat cylinder) and then into the oven. Half an hour later eat it, having removed it from the oven. Things to put into the souffle:
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