| WANTED: ALESIS MMT-8 WILL PAY £100 | Church practise: 22/7 | Young woman (18) looking for close circle of friends with which to share secret dinner parties. Applicants must be Christian, clean-living and live in affluent suburbs of Bristol. | Church practise: 29/7 |
| YOUNG GUITARIST SEEKS MANAGER TEN YEARS OLDER FOR NIGHTS ON THE TOWN AND KISSES AND HUGS. MUST BE PAID ON A VOLUNTARY BASIS. | South African immigrant is looking for money recently lost. Likely to be about twenty quid although ten quid or even five possible. | Enormous no. of Xians require logic/rational thought. | WANTED: Good vocalist for upcoming dance outfit. Either male or female - rap, soul, house vocals - anything goes. Must bring own influnces and lyrics. Contact us for a bit of lunacy! |
| Young man (19) in dance corporation desperately requires sense of fashion or even style. Any style except shellsuits and baggy jeans happily received. | Church practise: 8/8 | F.S. lots of curly leads for guitar or keyboard. very convenient; no trailing on the ground. £3 each. | Church practise: 1/9 |
| WANT TO BUY: Trinity Pro X + Sound Expander Module I have a limited budget so please help. | Jesus Rocks Nads | Church practise: 5/7 | Pair of sisters required by the Rest of the World for moral guidance of all kinds. |
| Arsonists of the world - Ignite! | Bassist seeks young Xian girl for source of embittered vitriol. Must be tall and thoughtless. | WANTED: TR808, TR909, MC202, SH101 TB303 plus someone to work them. Preferable someone with good ideas for acid house outift. | Skip woz 'ere 3/7/96 |
| wanted - band to go with rapper. i'm a sturdy bristolian with influenzas from tricky, 3d out of massive, the chap who worked with bomb the bass. i'm also into john woo ultra-violence movies, tomato sauce on chips and footie (rovers) | This notice left intentionally blank | Church V - a complete recording in one handy volume. Cosec; Sec; Obtuse; Radius; Cone; Cubic; Sferical; Helix/Arc; Coil and many more. | Church practise: 13/8 |
| Church practise: 17/8 | FOR SALE: Novation Bass Station Keyboard - £270 ono. | New Holy Church Compendium recorded today 28/8/96 Church V recorded. Contains nearly all the songs ever heard | Immediate psychiatric help required by member of multinational dance corporation having ODed on insane drum beats. I stared insanity in the face and it stared right back. |
| I'm looking for a band to play bass in. Recently relieved from playing in a pop-punk band in the area I now want to delve into noise as an art-form. Preferably respondents will be local and willing to "bring the noise". | Church practise: 20/7 | WANTED: ability on the drum machine. Please contact 18 year old dance fanatic. | Church practise: 15/7 |
| Tall foreigner from Cape Town seeks circle of friends for an uncertain future. Must have brunette Xtian on the rebound in order to promote really believable "wolf on the prowl" stories. | I need help now. Please help me. help me please help me please help me now i need your help desper | Counselling required by someone who has just listened all the way through Automatic for the People three times | Wanted: Novation Bass Station Rack. Will pay £330, or part exchange with my B.S. keyboard |